HAPPY NEW YEAR! (Where is Everybody?)

Happy 2017!  I'm extra happy today because I just found out I get one more day of Winter Vacation from school!  Even though my Dad tried telling my Mom he didn't think I had school today, it being a Government Holiday with New Year's Day yesterday and all, Mom was back in the routine making sure I had everything I needed and out the door to get me to class on time this morning!  Imagine her surprise when we arrived and the parking lot was completely empty!  She may be schedule challenged, but I'll always love My Idiot Mom!

My Idiot Mom Gets A Postcard From Camp

My Idiot Mom sent me to my first summer overnight camp for one whole week.  She started mailing me letters the week before I went so I would get mail each day, and sent me to camp with two self addressed stamped postcards for me to mail to her.  Here's what I wrote on postcard #1.  I did not love camp but I love My Idiot Mom.

DEAR MOM,

THANK YOU FOR THE LETTERS BUT THEY ALL ARRIVED ON THE SAME DAY.  IM REALLY HOMESICK AND I AM MISERABLE. I HAVE A BAD HEADACHE. IT GOT WORSE.  I REALLY MISS YOU. PLEASE GET ME.  XOXO 

My Idiot Mom Helps the Tooth Fairy

My Idiot Mom came to all my baseball games this season.  She loves baseball and she loves me, and she gave our team bubble gum on our last game!  Unfortunately, My Idiot Mom forgot about my very loose molar when she gave me my gum, and as soon as I began chewing my tooth came right out, and I gave it to her for safe keeping! She helped me and the Tooth Fairy that day! I love My Idiot Mom!

My Idiot Mom Buys Me a T Shirt

My Idiot Mom went on a trip recently.  When she came back she had a present for me! It was a new t-shirt with some cartoon stick figures on the front having a cookout! Unfortunately, when I wore it to school my teacher made me turn it inside out. That's okay. I can always wear it around My Idiot Mom. I love My Idiot Mom!

My Idiot Mom's Healthy Lunch

I'm so glad I have a Mom who was a 70's kid 'cuz she lets me have healthy choice foods for meals like she did growing up. Here I am at my favorite food place of all time getting a bucket of French fries for lunch. And you know what? We are such regulars the food truck owner gave me an extra bucket for Mom. I love her and My Idiot Mom! 

Gambling with My Idiot Mom

Thank goodness for our recent overseas flight home from IRELAND or I never would have learned Roulette, 5 card draw or 21! I love My Idiot Mom for taking me and letting me learn how to gamble!

My Idiot Mom Doesn't Read Signs

This was a great cliff from which to look out onto the Irish Sea! My Idiot Mom must have thought this sign was in Gaelic like so many we've seen in Ireland or else she never would have let me sit out here! I love My Idiot Mom! 

My Idiot Mom Books a Hotel Room

Holy Smokes! I'm in Ireland with My Idiot Mom and this weekend it's in a little Southeatern coastal town called Dunmore East! My Idiot Mom had her choice of hotels and Bed and Breakfasts and chose The Strand Inn for its "family room suites." Families sure must be extra close here in the land of the green as evidenced by this painting in our room where these family members aren't wearing any clothes. My Idiot Mom tells me it's art. I love My Idiot Mom! 

My Idiot Mom & the Plastic Poop Bag Bandit!

My Idiot Mom is on a crusade!  Someone is leaving knotted plastic grocery store bags full of dog poop curbside along the street where we live.  My Idiot Mom asks, "Who do you think signs their time-card at the end of the week?  Morons Are Us?"  Giving the benefit of the doubt, as My Idiot Mom likes to do with everyone, she thinks the culprit is making an effort to pick up after her dog, but not aware that unlike the dog's poop which eventually washes away in the rain the plastic bags full of dog poop do not, as evidenced by the two plastic poop bags she found by the fire hydrant in front of our house after two weeks of snow finally melted last week, and that she had to pick up and throw out with our garbage!  My Idiot Mom has reminded herself and me that, "Tickets on the clue bus are plentiful and easy to come by," and would like the Plastic Poop Bag Bandit to get one and take their doggie poop with them!  I love My Idiot Mom!

My Idiot Mom & House of Cards

Unfortunately My Idiot Mom doesn't quite understand that House of Cards is a terrific cutting edge political thriller starring Kevin Spacey & Robin Wright, & all Season 3 episodes are out on Netflix today. My Idiot Mom won't be binge watching House of Cards She'll be binge building them. I love My Idiot Mom!

My Idiot Mom's Out of Town

My Idiot Mom was out of town last week for 4 days.  She takes a lot of time preparing us for her leave of absence including cleaning, washing, grocery shopping and prepping school lunches.  My Idiot Mom also makes an easy list for My Idiot Dad to follow (at Dad's request) to ensure everything with a pulse in the house stays alive while she's gone!  Despite My Idiot Mom's BEST efforts, she knows that she will return to the CESSPOOL OF DUST.  Even though she returned 3 days ago, she is still finding cesspool evidence, like the indescribable remnant's from one of the meals out with Dad on the front of my hoodie, which Dad hung up in the front hall closet.  No worries though.  My Idiot Mom has touched way worse disgusting stuff off me and in the blink of an eye had the semi-chewed hardened mass between her fingers and into the trash bin, and the hoodie in the wash!  I love My Idiot Mom!

Follow My Idiot Mom on Twitter!

My Idiot Mom Takes a Picture

Despite my BEST efforts to not be the focus for My Idiot Mom's shots, tweets, blogs, posts or grams, she takes my picture anyway!  I still love My Idiot Mom (even though she doesn't have the best photographic eye or respect for personal space!)

My Idiot Mom in Flames!

My Idiot Mom and I watched the fire department burn down this old house in the town we live.  We have a fire pit on our patio I get to help burn stuff in too.  My Idiot Mom plays Adele's 21 in our car and "Set Fire to the Rain" is my favorite song!  I love My Idiot Mom for introducing me to fire!

Worms on our Table?

A bit of a start this morning for My Idiot Mom when she noticed dead worms on our kitchen table.  She hadn't had her coffee yet or she would have seen sooner that it was last night's that spaghetti dried on the table overnight because she forgot to wipe off the table after dinner.  Phew.  (Secretly, I hope it's worms next time.)  I love My Idiot Mom.

Mom! Look What I've Found!

Turns out, this was an indigo bunting bird that I found and rode my bike one-handed to be able to carry it home!  My Idiot Mom was really surprised, but glad I didn't have a huge spider or something dead in my hands instead!  We put him inside an aquarium to rest and about a half hour later he woke up and flew away, thanks to Mom's care and mine!  I love My Idiot Mom!

My Idiot Zombie Mom

My Idiot Mom has a fondness for Zombies.  She really does look like the one in the middle there on the back of her car.  The other car is one we were behind in Oklahoma where Grammie and Papa live (I guess they really have an outbreak of Zombies out there - maybe My Idiot Mom is thinking about moving there and becoming a Zombie Hunter herself.  That explains why she acts like a brain dead one from time to time with me.)  I love My Idiot Mom!

Just in Time For New School Clothes this Fall

I can't fit my head through anymore!  Time for My Idiot Mom to take me clothes shopping.  Hope she does before school starts in a few weeks!  I love My Idiot Mom!

Learning New Words With My Idiot Mom

Uh, oh.  Looks like My Idiot Mom thought I would only learn about airplane history at a recent visit to the USAF Museum, but I got to learn a really cool, new word too!  My Idiot Mom seemed a bit surprised when I asked her what the word after "Strawberry" was and asked why someone would name their plane that.  She mumbled something about a girl dog and pushed me ahead towards the next plane.  Neat.  What a great learning day for the both of us!  I love My Idiot Mom!

New Time Out Zone

Looks like My Idiot Mom has come up with a new place for Time Outs, which I seem to be in more and more during this summer vacation!  At least I get to spend this one with my best pal, Gerty!  I love My Idiot Mom!

My Idiot Mom's New Best Friend...

...and it looks like it was named after her too!  I love My Idiot Mom!